Where's Russ?

The status on Russ's blog says it all. On his blog site at the top right it has always had the question of "Where's Russ?" to give an update on where he was. The answers reflected where he was at the time of his writing. I can't remember what the previous answer was but I know he made his final posting about a week and a half prior to passing away. He wrote it without knowing how soon things would come to an end. I believe that he intended to write another post with comments on how him being at home was causing chaos in an already chaotic household. He would have something witty to relate about the nursing care he was receiving and apologize to those he thought he was putting out. He would have provided his insights and thoughts on treatments and next steps. We all would have smiled a little, possibly even laughed and probably teared up a bit. Instead, he wasn't able to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard anymore. He prepared all us readers for what might come and what all too quickly did. That's the way I knew him and from what his long time friends said about him at the funeral, he'd been that way all along. There to lend a helping hand, provide insight and look out for others.
I'll miss you buddy.
Oh, and the final answer to the question of "Where's Russ?" Home.

Saying Goodbye

As promised here is the rest of the story - as Paul Harvey would say.

The Hospice care was to bring over a hospital bed for Russ to the house. They said the drugs he was receiving were not improving him any but I've got to think that they were at least keeping it at bay. I believe this because it wasn't long after he stopped taking them that he went downhill. I will keep details brief as some parts of the last couple of weeks are hazy whyle others stand out in amazing clarity. Russ went to the Casey House which is a hospice house the same day the bed was to arrive. As time has passed I don't recall the exact reason he went there other than there was a need for it and it would be better there than being at the house. Steph and I went up on Thursday night so we could say our goodbyes. They weren't sure how much longer he would hold on. It could be days or it could be hours. Baileys and the Conway's were already there when we got there and Marla's mom was taking Nolan & Audrey home. We talked for a while as a group then Kevin and Denise went in to talk to Russ. He was actually having a good night. He was awake and talkative. When Steph and I went in he looked great, on the outside. Though knowing what caused the weight loss (not being able or wanting to eat) and the dark tan (onset of jaundice) diminished what otherwise would be a cause of celebration. I got to see glimpses of my friend that night when we talked about cooking and trying to sneak in some avacados the next day so he could show me how he make his special guacamole dip he would usually bring to our gatherings. He got a glimmer in his eye that I remember him getting when talking about something he loved. I had some alone time with him and we discussed his constant pain, nursing care, how much he was going to miss everyone, how strange it was to discuss your own impending death and his kids. I reassured him on the last point that they would be OK. That he instilled enough of himself in them, taught them enough and would live on in them. It was a touching moment for me. I told him I would be there as a man and father in my own right to help Marla with anything she needed. Our conversation was interrupted by him dozing off and then waking up again usually within 30 seconds or so. I told him that he seemed tired and that it had been a long day. He replied, yeah it's been a long couple years. I hugged him, said my final goodbyes and told him to get some rest, then I left. He made it through another week.
The funeral/memorial service was last Saturday.